As a Londoner who had grown up in that capital city, enjoying the many delights of living in a capital city I first found Amsterdam a village, compared to London. With little that was truly international about the place in 1978 but with hopes of bringing up our children to be international and to have access to Europe, only a train-ride away, I tried to remain optimistic about the positive characteristics of my new home but there were so many days I found living in Amsterdam an uphill struggle in so many ways. Getting to the happiness and delight I have today to living in The Netherlands, it was a roller-coaster ride but well worth the effort! This article will offer my own perspective of a successful working and family life in The Netherlands.

My story

I am Michele. A Global Relocation Expert with over 50 years of working based in The Netherlands. Starting out as a young mum of two, “dragged” to Amsterdam for my husband’s job. Eventually teaching in an International School I listened to the problems of the parents who came into my classroom and was inspired to develop support programmes and assistance and go into relocation. I was the first Relocation Company in The Netherlands, creating a business from my apartment and the rest has been an amazing successful global career. I specialise in facilitating smooth transitions for individual and corporate clients moving to The Netherlands. I have loved living, working and bringing up my family here and have supported many thousands of people.  Moving to The Netherlands is often regarded as an “easy move” but my story contains some essentials you may like to know. I have seen the massive growth of the expat in The Netherlands since arrival in 1978. What I know clearly is that people are attracted to the lifestyle here, they’re not coming and going, they’re staying!

Being a newcomer

What never fails to surprise me to this day just how wonderfully developed and surprising a country it has become. It’s a country that has opened its arms to foreigners over the centuries. A seafaring and trading nation, willing to engage in conversation, curious and not afraid of asking very direct questions.  And yet it took me a long time to make friends and I had to work out why. People around me were friendly and interested so why did it take so long to make a good friend?

The Netherlands offers the lifestyle, healthcare, education, and social welfare systems for all it’s inhabitants. A welcome space for everyone, known for its cultural diversity, with influences from various ethnic groups, people from all walks of life, contributing to a vibrant and inclusive society. It was one of the first countries to legalize same-sex marriage and has a reputation for tolerance and acceptance. In general, the LGBTQ+ community feel safe here. Integrating well especially in the larger cities.

As a newcomer to a social situation in The Netherlands one needs to reach out and be the person to do the inviting at first, perhaps meeting on neutral territory in the beginning and now I understand better that the Dutch use their close family as their main friendship group and this is number one importance.  Family are usually also close friends. 

Friendships

Family events are so important and so well -celebrated here. Friends outside the family are often built up from people met in post-school, university or training college. They appear to be happy with this order of friendship. Having reunions, meetings, weddings and parties with this group adding to a small yet well-organized lifestyle.  So it’s quite hard for an expat to get into the “kring” a well-known word where people are socially together in a “close circle”.

In my first home, about 15kms outside Amsterdam, there was a large group of Moluccan Dutch women living nearby who “adopted” me and gave me a chance to laugh, they understood about being strangers in a new land. Often with hardship and discrimination at their doors they were fun, they taught me to cook some of their traditional cakes and had my family over to visit them for all kinds of wonderful food. A very different experience that I was having in my everyday life.  I certainly had my low days as all expats can have, when I wondered who was at fault and what more was possible to do but suddenly you find yourself in the “zone” of friendships and it’s wonderful.

My first good Dutch friend Henny was just as surprised as I to have a girlfriend. We have been friends for 45 years and our children were in the same kindergarten class. She was a working Doctor and had no support from the school system at that time.  There was no school lunch or lunch clubs and children had to go home between 12.00 and 1.30 p.m.  This has all changed but in fact Dutch Schools are still difficult for working parents.  With no school on Wednesday afternoons and many schools finishing the day at 2.30 pm. But there are plenty of after school clubs now to take of children after school. This is different in International Schools however which offer a more traditional timetable.

Now my friends are a mixture of all things good about my active and lively social life. Expat friends mean a shared experience and a deep understanding of being away from home and I believe you need them.  Living with Dutch friends means a close glimpse into their world full of sports and enjoying life often outside in parks, barbecues and picnics, whenever the weather lets them.

As I built up my relocation business, I always mixed my relocation teams using expat and local consultants, both men and women, making sure that we had focus groups to learn what our newer clients were feeling and understanding of their lives here. It has been a great and ongoing learning curve which I hope you will all get to experience.